“An odd by-product of giving freely out of compassion and love is how it makes the giver feel. The more you give from a place of unconditional generosity, the more joy you feel.” (excerpt from Why Giving to Others Is Also Giving to Ourselves)
“Start by paying closer attention to the people you encounter during the day. Soon you will recognize an opportunity to give.
If you notice someone walking around with a permanent frown, you can flash your comforting smile and shine a tiny light on that person’s dark heart.
Generosity isn’t only for strangers. You can weed a neighbor’s garden, cook a meal for your parents, or pay a visit to someone you haven’t seen in a while. Giving to those you know and love the most prevents you from taking them for granted.
An odd by-product of giving freely out of compassion and love is how it makes the giver feel. The more you give from a place of unconditional generosity, the more joy you feel. Giving makes you realize how much power you have to make others feel better about themselves and their lives.
Go out and give whatever you have to whoever needs it. Seek ordinary moments and make them extraordinary. Life truly is a special occasion.” (https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-giving-to-others-is-also-giving-to-ourselves/)
“The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed;— The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed.” (excerpt from Bronte poem titled, Evening Solace)
How have you been of some comfort to someone else, lately?
Evening Solace
by Charlotte Brontë, 1816 – 1855
The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;—
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame’s or Wealth’s illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.
But there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart’s best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.
And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back—a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others’ sufferings seem.
Oh! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie!
And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress—
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven
Seeking a life and world to come.
“How can I be less noble to refuse to forgive you! The thought of revenge had been burning in my mind. Go away and take the thought of revenge from me.” (excerpt from Youssouf and the Stranger below)
How successful have you been with forgiving the person(s) who irks you the most, lately?
THE SPIRITUAL PRINCIPAL THAT GOES BOTH WAYS –
“As we realize our need to be for- given, we tend to be more forgiving. At least we know that we are no longer intentionally mak- ing life miserable for people.” (The Basic Text, pp. 39-40)
WE CAN DO IT IF WE TRY –
“Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spir-
itual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us.” ” … we in-
wardly knew we’d be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.” (12 & 12, pp. 57- 58)
“The weak can never for- give. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
– Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948) preeminent Indian political and spiritual leader
Youssouf and the Stranger
Yussouf was a sheik. He was sitting at the door of his dent in the desert. It was night. Nothing was visible in the desert. The only light was the light that came from the starts in the sky. They were twinkling in the sky. The sheik was sad at heart. He had been secretly weeping for many days and nights. His eldest son had been killed.
Suddenly, a stranger came running to the tent. He fell at the feet of Yussouf. He said, “O Chief, save me. My enemies are coming after me. They want to kill me. I am starving. I can not run anymore. All men call you good. Save me. O Chief, let me stay in your tent for one night.”
Yussouf asked the stranger to enter his tent. He said, “You are a stranger, but you are welcome. You can share with me my food and shelter. God has given them to me. God is our father. He has built this earth for us. The sky protects us all. God gives us food and shelter. I have never refused to grant anyone a favor. Therefore come into my tent as my guest. Share with me my food. No one will harm you.”
The stranger entered. Yussouf embraced him as his honored guest. After taking food, the stranger lay down to sleep.
The next day, the sun had not risen up.
The desert was calm and still. Yussouf, gently, woke up the stranger. He gave the stranger a bag of gold. He said, “My friend, I hope you had a good sleep. The food must have given you some strength. Now you must escape from your enemies before the sun rises. I have kept my best horse ready for you. Fly before your enemies come.”
The stranger got up. He received the bag of gold from Yussouf. He looked at Yussouf for some moments. There was some struggle going on in his mind. Then suddenly his face became brighter. He fell at the feet of Yussouf. Then he said, “O good and noble Chief! You had been so kind to me. Gave me food and shelter. Saved my life. But I had been so bad. I killed your son. I am Abraham. Now kill me! I am ready for punishment and revenge from you.”
The sheik was shocked. He was motionless.
He was struggling between revenge and forgiveness in his mind. Should he take revenge? Should he return evil for evil? Or should he return good for evil? Finally, he put his hand into his pocket. He drew out more gold. He gave it to Abraham. Then he said, “Here is gold three times more. Take this and go away. I will not kill you. You have been noble enough to confess. How can I be less noble to refuse to forgive you! The thought of revenge had been burning in my mind. Go away and take the thought of revenge from me.”
“I must give up the thought of revenge. Only then my son will sleep in peace. You have been my guest. I can not kill my guest. May God forgive both of us – me for keeping revenge in my thought and you for murdering my son!” said the Sheik and he went off to pray God.” (http://www.english-for-students.com/Yussouf.html)
“Another great dividend we may expect from confiding our defects to another hu- man being is humility – a word often misunderstood .” “[It] amounts to a clear re- cognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to be- come what we could be.” (12 & 12 p. 58)
WE ARE ONLY HUMAN, AFTER ALL –
“To be truly hu-
mble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves. None of us is perfectly good or perfect-
ly bad. We are people who have assets and liabili– ties. Most importantly, we are human.” (The Basic Text, p. 36)
“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his
humblest hour is when he compares the vol- ume as it is with what he vowed to make it.”
– James M. Barrie (1860 – 1937) Scottish, playwright, Peter Pan
Which spiritual principles and how have you used them to turn one of your failures, setbacks or slips into success?
Now It’s Your Turn
“Ask yourself if you’re holding onto a failure or disappointment in your life. Why are you hanging on to it?
Seek support from other people who know you and who you trust to give you gentle feedback—especially if the “failure” feels fresh, even after many years.
Decide how you will move forward and use what you’ve learned to create a new plan, to let the past go to make room in your life for your new dreams.
In this way, failures don’t feel so final; they feel like a twist on a path of exploration. That’s a path I’m happy to take.
Reframe. Refocus. Revise. Rinse. And repeat.” (https://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-simple-steps-to-turn-failure-into-success/)
“Finally, on the seventh day, after marching around the city seven times, the horns sound, the fighting men shout, and the walls fall.” (more below on the Biblical battle for Jericho)
What are some examples of you letting your own walls down, lately?
The Walls of Jericho
Joshua 6:1-25.
Listen to what Jehovah tells Joshua: ‘You and your fighting men are to march around the city. March around it once each day for six days. Carry the ark of the covenant with you. Seven priests should walk ahead of it and blow their horns.
‘On the seventh day you should march around the city seven times. Then give a long sound on the horns, and have everyone shout with a great war cry. And the walls will fall down flat!’
The walls of Jericho fall, except for the home of Rahab where the scarlet cord hangs
Joshua and the people do what Jehovah says. While they march, everyone is silent. No one speaks a word. All that can be heard is the sound of the horns and the marching feet. The enemies of God’s people in Jerʹi·cho must have been afraid. Can you see that red cord hanging from a window? Whose window is that? Yes, Raʹhab has done what the two spies told her to do. All her family are inside watching with her.
Finally, on the seventh day, after marching around the city seven times, the horns sound, the fighting men shout, and the walls fall. Then Joshua says: ‘Kill everyone in the city and burn it. Burn everything. Save only the silver, gold, copper and iron, and give them to the treasury of Jehovah’s tent.’
To the two spies, Joshua says: ‘Go into the house of Raʹhab, and bring her and all her family out.’ Raʹhab and her family are saved, just as the spies had promised her. (https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/bible-stories/3/walls-of-jericho/)
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah
“Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.” (excerpt from 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain)
Provide an example of how successful you were at letting go, lately?
Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life
1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.
2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.
3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.
4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.
5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future). (for all 40 tips – https://tinybuddha.com/blog/40-ways-to-let-go-and-feel-less-pain/)
“The average person is keeping 13 secrets right now. Five of them are secrets they’ve never told another living soul. These stats come from a new paper … which looked at more than 13,000 secrets over 10 different studies.” “The most common secret(s) that people shared with no one else were. Extra-relational thoughts (thinking something romantic or sexual about someone other than your partner), romantic desire, sexual behavior, and lies.” (More below)
What does Gibran imply you should do when finding someone with whom to share your secrets?
Previous research has shown that keeping secrets is linked to lower well-being. It was thought that the reason is just that many of our secrets are negative. And thinking about negative things is a bummer. That’s probably true (though it’s worth noting that positive secrets, like surprises, likely work differently). But this study found another reason, one more specific to secrecy.: Thinking of secrets means thinking of things you aren’t being open and honest about in your relationships. Which makes people feel less authentic.” (https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/05/shhhhh/526581/)
“Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies old memories of pleasure ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls.” Excerpt from Maya Angelou’s poem Touched by an Angel
“How have you lost “the fear of touching and being touched”, lately?
Touched by an Angel
by Maya Angelou
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
