Category: Zonr Posts

“Deciding to live life on life’s terms is an endearing soul task. The immanent endearment reflects our acceptance of who we are while honoring the immensity of fate.”

 

Everyday People – Arrested Development (8:35) at Sunset Junction -2009

Living Life on Life’s Terms (2:45)

Relax Zen Garden Buddhist Meditation (7:09)

 

Provide an example or two on how you cope with “life on life’s terms”,  lately?

 

 

Deciding To Live Life On Life’s Terms

By Paul Dunion, Ed.D., LPC

“Deciding to live life on life’s terms is an endearing soul task. The immanent endearment reflects our acceptance of who we are while honoring the immensity of fate. A strengthening of our ability to be discerning and a deepening of our acceptance of all that is out of our control will need to be developed. There are several key focuses:

• Calling off the protest. Calling off the protest of the perilous nature of fate means becoming more accepting of fate’s insecurities and unpredictability.

• The willingness to continue developing an ability to discern what is in and out of our control. This is a life-long lesson. When the ego feels bold, it mistakenly decides it can control too much. When the ego is shy or fear-driven, the misjudgment is that little or nothing is in our control.

• Accepting how little is in our control. This calls for an evolving humility where we graciously learn to accept our limits. When grace guides our acceptance, we don’t see what is out of our control as simply unfortunate, but rather as an opportunity to be further informed by life.

• Becoming risk amenable. We don’t fear risks. We fear how we will treat ourselves if a risk we take has unfavorable consequences. Hence, in order to accept life’s terms of living our desire, we will need to learn to forgive ourselves when our actions do not generate the desired results.” (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-dunion-edd-lpc/on-lifes-terms_b_10356298.html)

 

 

“The ‘hidden tzaddikim’ were a group of unusually gift-ed and devoted Jews who, disguised as simple people, dedicated their lives to improving the plight of their Jewish brethren both spiritually and materially.”  Herschel Goat
From the writings & talks of Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch

Help – The Beatles    (2:23) 

Tzedakah Is All About Saving Lives (1:34) 

Nishmat – an Ancient Hebrew Meditation at Sea (3:46) 

 

How have you given freely, of yourself,  lately?

 

 

Herschel Goat

From the writings & talks of Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch

 

When I was a young man of twenty, soon after being accepted as a member of the society the hidden tzaddikim, several of us came to the city of Brody. [Translator’s note: The “hidden tzaddikim” were a group of unusually gifted and devoted Jews who, disguised as simple people, dedicated their lives to improving the plight of their Jewish brethren both spiritually and materially.]

It was there in Brody that I saw the most amazing thing. I was standing in the marketplace, speaking to a large group of locals, when I noticed from the corner of my eye an older man walking in the distance, bent under the burden of a large sack he was carrying on his shoulder. His face was covered with sweat, and there was nothing unusual about him, except for the fact that over his head floated a brilliant pillar of spiritual fire!

Obviously, none of the other townspeople saw it.

A few of them even yelled jeeringly, “Keep going, Herschel Goat,” and, “Carry, Herschel, carry!” And he called back with a smile, “Thank you! G‑d bless you!”

I could not believe my eyes. I called two of the elder tzaddikim who were with me, Rabbi Yechezkel and Rabbi Ephraim. They, too, saw the pillar but also couldn’t explain it. To all appearances, this Herschel was just a simple old Jew trying to make a living. What connected him to such a great revelation?

For several days I observed him and tried to understand the reason for this holy fire, but I still had no idea. People told me that he was a widower, his wife having died some ten years ago. He earned his meek living by carrying things on his back and doing odd jobs, and as far as everyone knew, he used all his money to feed a few goats he had because he loved goat milk. That is how he earned the name “Herschel Goat.”  (The story continues: https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/60354/jewish/Herschel-Goat.htm)

“So if we must raise our children to be warriors rather than cannon fodder, at least let us be very clear in what war we are fighting and what inevitable shape victory will wear.”  excerpt from Sister Outsider and a Burst of Light

 

 Panic – The Smiths (9:54) 

Our Deepest Fear – Marianne Williamson (4:41)

Overcoming Fear & Anxiety Guided Mindfulness Meditation(15:06)  

 

How would you describe your own “light”?

 

excerpt from Sister Outsider and a Burst of Light

by Audre Lorde

“And yes, sometimes our daughter and son did pay a price for our insisting
upon the articulation of our differences—political, racial, sexual.
That is difficult for me to say because it hurts to raise your children
knowing they may be sacrificed to your vision, your belief. But as children
of Color, Lesbian parents or no, our children are programmed to be
sacrifices to the vision of white racist profit-oriented sexist homophobic
America, and that we cannot allow. So if we must raise our children to be
warriors rather than cannon fodder, at least let us be very clear in what
war we are fighting and what inevitable shape victory will wear. Then
our children will choose their own battles.

 

Lesbians and Gays of Color and the children of Lesbians and Gays
of Color are in the forefront of every struggle for human dignity in this
country today, and that is not by accident. At the same time, we must
remember when they are children that they are children, and need love,
protection, and direction. From the beginning, Frances and I tried to
teach the children that they each had a right to define herself and himself
and to feel his own and her own feelings. They also had to take responsibility
for the actions which arose out of those feelings. In order
to do this teaching, we had to make sure that Beth and Jonathan had
access to information from which to form those definitions—true information,
no matter how uncomfortable it might be for us. We also had
to provide them with sufficient space within which to feel anger, fear,
rebellion, joy.

 

We were very lucky to have the love and support of other Lesbians,

most of whom did not have children of their own, but who loved us
and our son and daughter. That support was particularly important at
those times when some apparently insurmountable breach left us feeling
isolated and alone as Lesbian parents. Another source of support
and connection came from other Black women who were raising children
alone. Even so, there were times when it seemed to Frances and me
that we would not survive neighborhood disapproval, a double case of
chickenpox, or escalating teenage rebellion. It is really scary when your
children take what they have learned about self-assertion and nonviolent
power and decide to test it in confrontations with you. But that is a
necessary part of learning themselves, and the primary question is, have
they learned to use it well?

 

Our daughter and son are in their twenties now. They are both
warriors, and the battlefields shift: the war is the same. It stretches from
the brothels of Southeast Asia to the blood-ridden alleys of Capetown
to the incinerated Lesbian in Berlin to Michael Stewart’s purloined eyes
and grandmother Eleanor Bumpurs shot dead in the projects of New
York. It stretches from the classroom where our daughter teaches Black
and Latino third graders to chant, “I am somebody beautiful,” to the
college campus where our son replaced the Stars and Stripes with the
flag of South Africa to protest his school’s refusal to divest. They are in
the process of choosing their own weapons, and no doubt some of those
weapons will feel completely alien to me. Yet I trust them, deeply, because
they were raised to be their own woman, their own man, in struggle, and
in the service of all of our futures.” (pp.  79-80)

 

“Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.”  (excerpt of poem on injustice by Langston Hughes)

 

Teenage Dream – Mike Tompkins’ xlnt cover (2:41) 

Heather Heyer Brief Bio (4:52)

 

How have you taken a stand against injustice you’ve witnessed in your own life, lately?

 

Let America Be America Again

by Langston Hughes, 1902 – 1967

 

Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.

(America never was America to me.)

 

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed—
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.

(It never was America to me.)

 

O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.

(There’s never been equality for me,
Nor freedom in this “homeland of the free.”)

 

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?

And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

 

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery’s scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek—
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

 

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,
Tangled in that ancient endless chain
Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!
Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!
Of work the men! Of take the pay!
Of owning everything for one’s own greed!

 

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.
I am the worker sold to the machine.
I am the Negro, servant to you all.
I am the people, humble, hungry, mean—
Hungry yet today despite the dream.
Beaten yet today—O, Pioneers!
I am the man who never got ahead,
The poorest worker bartered through the years.

 

Yet I’m the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings
In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That’s made America the land it has become.
O, I’m the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home—
For I’m the one who left dark Ireland’s shore,
And Poland’s plain, and England’s grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa’s strand I came
To build a “homeland of the free.”

 

The free?

 

Who said the free? Not me?
Surely not me? The millions on relief today?
The millions shot down when we strike?
The millions who have nothing for our pay?
For all the dreams we’ve dreamed
And all the songs we’ve sung
And all the hopes we’ve held
And all the flags we’ve hung,
The millions who have nothing for our pay—
Except the dream that’s almost dead today.

 

O, let America be America again—
The land that never has been yet—
And yet must be—the land where every man is free.
The land that’s mine—the poor man’s, Indian’s, Negro’s, ME—
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.

 

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose—
The steel of freedom does not stain.
From those who live like leeches on the people’s lives,
We must take back our land again,
America!

 

O, yes,
I say it plain,
America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath—
America will be!

 

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain—
All, all the stretch of these great green states—
And make America again!

“A frog had a rupee coin, which he kept in his hole.  Once an elephant happened to pass over the hole. The frog instantly lost his cool … ”  (very short story on false pride below)

 

Proud Mary – Tina Turner & Ike (6:02)    

“Time is Carving You, Grasshopper” Kung Fu w/ Carradine (4:17)

The Glory of the Bagan Temples of Burma Meditation (5:48)

How have you been humbled by your own humanity, lately?

 

 

The Frog with a Rupee (very short story on false pride)

by Sri Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

A frog had a rupee coin, which he kept in his hole.

Once an elephant happened to pass over the hole. The frog instantly lost his cool. He jumped out of his hole, raising his leg as if to kick the elephant.  He screamed, “How dare you walk over my home and me?”

 

THE EGO DEFLATOR –

“All of A.A.’s
Twelve Steps ask
us to go contrary to
our natural desires … they
all deflate our egos. When it
comes to ego deflation, few
Steps are harder to take than
Five. But scarcely any step is
more necessary to longtime
sobriety and peace of
mind than this one.”
(12 & 12, p. 55)

 

HOW HUMILITY CONNECTS US TO OUR OWN HUMANITY –

“We gain a new
understanding of the
principle of humility as
we work this step. We’ve
most likely been under the im-
pression that we were some-
how bigger or more visible than
other people.” “Through our
self-disclosure, we feel conn-
ected with humanity, per-
haps for the first time
in our lives.” (12 &
12, p. 55)

 

“Pride per-
ceiving humility
honorable, often bor-
rows her cloak.”

– Thomas Fuller (1608 – 1661) British clergyman/philosopher

“I loved you, and I probably still do, And for a while, the feeling may remain … ” excerpt from Pushkin poem below.

 

Love the Way You Lie (Eminem ft. Rihanna) (4:27)  

The Friendship Test (1:31)

Tantra Sufi Trance for Peace & Love Meditation (10:27)

 

BEING LOVING CAN BE TAUGHT –

“We may have
thought we were
incapable of loving
or being loved or ever
having friends. We dis-
cover that these beliefs
were unfounded. We learn,
from the example of our
sponsor, how to be a
more caring friend.”
(It Works, How &
Why p. 41)

 

GROWING LOVING CONNECTIONS THAT HEAL THE HEART –

“As we worked
these steps, we
learned how much
healing and help there
is in loving connections
with Power greater than
ourselves and with those
who share our lives. We
now want to continue
strengthening these
connections … .”
(Overeaters Anon.,
p. 85)

 

“Happiness comes
more from loving than
being loved; and often
when our affection seems
wounded it is only our van-
ity bleeding. To love, and
to be hurt often, and to
love again – this is the
brave and hap-
py life.”

– J. E. Buckrose (1868-1931) English author

 

In what way have you been loving to others, lately?

 

I Loved You. :

by Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin

I loved you, and I probably still do,

And for a while the feeling may remain…

But let my love no longer trouble you,

I do not wish to cause you any pain.

I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,

The jealousy, the shyness – though in vain –

Made up a love so tender and so true

As may God grant you to be loved again.

 

“The poem ‘I Love You’ by Alexander Pushkin was originally written in the Russian language. Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin was a Great Russian poet born in Moscow. He was incredibly intelligent and started writing poems at childhood days. Pushkin used his poems to express his frank opinion about the Russian politics of his period and he had to face opposition and enmity from many political leaders. At the age of 27 Pushkin married Natalya Nikolayevna Goncharova who was only 16 in the year 1826 and they had two kids. Pushkin got into great debt due to his wife’s luxurious life and Pushkin was shot to death by his brother-in-law whom he suspected of having an affair with his wife, when he confronted him about it.”

 

” He thinks of her happiness and therefore willing to surrender his love and happiness for the sake of her happiness and joy. His prayer is that God grants another man to love her who can love her with such a deep and sincere love just as he had given her. The narrator knows well that no other man in this world can give her such “a love as deep as this, as true, as tender.” Therefore it is certain that she is always in the sanctum sanctorum of his heart forever and ever!!”  (http://www.shareyouressays.com/essays/summary-of-i-love-you-by-alexander-pushkin/97969)

“Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful than the way the sun,
every evening,  relaxed and easy, floats toward the horizon … ” excerpt continues below.

 

Pocket Full of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield (3:00)

Let the Sunshine In – the movie version of Hair  (5:41)

Sunshine Adagio Meditation in D minor (4:30)

 

What mistakes have you been ashamed to admit, lately?

 

 

The Sun
by Mary Oliver

 

Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

 

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon

 

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone–
and how it slides again

 

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

 

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance–
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love–

do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

 

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you

 

as you stand there,
empty-handed–
or have you too
turned from this world–

 

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?

“A rich landowner named Carl often rode around his vast estate so he could congratulate himself on his great wealth. One day while riding around his estate on his favorite horse … .”  Excerpt from the Arabian Nights story on being grateful.

Thank-You – Sly and the Family Stone (7:40)

Gratitude w/ Deepak Chopra (2:42) 

Asking for Nothing …. And Receiving Everything LP Meditation (34:43)

What “blessings” or gifts from your recovery do you feel especially grateful for and why, lately?

 

 

Be Grateful :

A rich landowner named Carl often rode around his vast estate so he could congratulate himself on his great wealth. One day while riding around his estate on his favorite horse, he saw Hans, an old tenant farmer. Hans was sitting under a tree when Carl rode by.

Hans said, ‘I was just thanking God for my food.’

Carl protested, ‘If that is all I had to eat, I wouldn’t feel like giving thanks.’

Hans replied, ‘God has given me everything I need and I am thankful for it.’

The old farmer added, ‘It is strange you should come by today because I had a dream last night. In my dream a voice told me….The richest man in the valley will die tonight.’ I don’t know what it means, but I thought I ought to tell you.’

Carl snorted, ‘Dreams are nonsense,’ and galloped away, but he could not forget Hans’ words…The richest man in the valley will die tonight.

He was obviously the richest man in the valley, so he invited his doctor to his house that evening. Carl told the doctor what Hans had said. After a thorough examination, the doctor told the wealthy landowner, ‘Carl, you are as strong and healthy as a horse. There is no way you are going to die tonight.’

Nevertheless, for assurance, the doctor stayed with Carl, and they played cards through the night. The doctor left the next morning and Carl apologized for becoming so upset over the old man’s dream.

At about nine o’clock, a messenger arrived at Carl’s door.

‘What is it?’ Carl demanded.

The messenger explained, ‘It’s about old Hans. He died last night in his sleep.’

You don’t need money to be rich, be grateful for what you have in life and you will feel happier.

“You ‘ll be wonderin’ whut ‘s de reason I ‘s a grinnin’ all de time,
An’ I guess you t’ink my sperits Mus’ be feelin’ mighty prime.
Well, I ‘fess up, I is tickled As a puppy at his paws.”  The full Expectation poem
by Paul Laurence Dunbar below.

 

Wonderful (Everclear)

Return to Sleep Hypnotic Meditation

What unreasonable expectation(s) have you had to “right-size”, lately?

 

 

EXPECTATION (video)

by Paul Laurence Dunbar

You ‘ll be wonderin’ whut ‘s de reason
I ‘s a grinnin’ all de time,
An’ I guess you t’ink my sperits
Mus’ be feelin’ mighty prime.
Well, I ‘fess up, I is tickled
As a puppy at his paws.
But you need n’t think I’s crazy,
I ain’ laffin’ ‘dout a cause.

 

You’s a wonderin’ too, I reckon,
Why I does n’t seem to eat,
An’ I notice you a lookin’
Lak you felt completely beat
When I ‘fuse to tek de bacon,
An’ don’ settle on de ham.
Don’ you feel no feah erbout me,
Jes’ keep eatin’, an’ be ca’m.

 

Fu’ I’s waitin’ an’ I’s watchin’
‘Bout a little t’ing I see–
D’ othah night I’s out a walkin’
An’ I passed a ‘simmon tree.
Now I’s whettin’ up my hongry,
An’ I’s laffin’ fit to kill,
Fu’ de fros’ done turned de ‘simmons,
An’ de possum ‘s eat his fill.

 

He done go’ged hisse’f owdacious,
An’ he stayin’ by de tree!
Don’ you know, ol’ Mistah Possum
Dat you gittin’ fat fu’ me?
‘T ain’t no use to try to ‘spute it,
‘Case I knows you’s gittin’ sweet
Wif dat ‘simmon flavoh thoo you,
So I’s waitin’ fu’ yo’ meat.

 

An’ some ebenin’ me an Towsah
Gwine to come an’ mek a call,
We jes’ drap in onexpected
Fu’ to shek yo’ han’, dat’s all.
Oh, I knows dat you ‘ll be tickled,
Seems lak I kin see you smile,
So pu’haps I mought pu’suade you
Fu’ to visit us a while.

“Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly.” Words of wisdom from Plutarch.

SOMEBODY (Depeche Mode, 1984) 

The Meaning of ACTIVE LISTENING 

A Guided Listening Meditation w/ Alan Watts

 

What techniques have you tried lately to help you listen more intently?

 

NO NEED TO BE ‘THE LONE RANGER’ –

“Going it alone
in spiritual matters
is dangerous.” “… what
comes to us alone may be
garbled by our own rational-
ization and wishful thinking.
The benefit of walking to an-
other person is that we can
get his direct comment
and counsel on our sit-
uation.” (12 & 12, p. 60)

 

AN IDEAL LISTENER  –

“We have found
that an ideal listen-
er will have enough
compassion to honor
our feelings, enough in-
tegrity to respect our confi-
dences, and enough insight
to help us keep the exact
nature of our wrongs
within our field of
vision.” (It Works,
pp. 37 – 38)

 

“Know
how to listen,
and you will pro-
fit even from those
who talk badly.”

– Plutarch (46 AD – 120 AD) Greek historian and essayist