THE UNVARNISHED BLISS OF YOUTH – “We have a right to expect more from life than mere survival. We are here because we are ready to heal. [W]e are ready to look at ourselves and our lives with new eyes. We are ready to become aware.” (How Al Anon Works, p. 26)
“If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing.” – Gail Sheehy (1937 – ) U.S. author and Hilary Clinton biographer
What have you done lately to keep your spiritual awakening young, fresh and renewed?
Life
by Henry Van Dyke
Let me but live my life from year to year,
With forward face and unreluctant soul;
Not hurrying to, nor turning from the goal;
Not mourning for the things that disappear
In the dim past, nor holding back in fear
From what the future veils; but with a whole
And happy heart, that pays its toll
To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer.
So let the way wind up the hill or down,
O’er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy:
Still seeking what I sought when but a boy,
New friendship, high adventure, and a crown,
My heart will keep the courage of the quest,
And hope the road’s last turn will be the best.
“The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.” (12 & 12, p. 105)
“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” – William Hazlitt (1778 – 1830) English author
“But what attitude do we take during those difficult times? If we are surprised, shocked, deflated, or discouraged when a defect returns, we lack humility.” “Real humility about our character defects carries with it, acceptance.” (Over Eaters Anon, p. 61) “We need to realize that our path to transformation is through our mistakes. We’re meant to make mistakes, recognize them, and move on to become un-limited.” Yehuda Berg (1973 – ) Israeli Kabbalah Center author
What experiences have you had lately which have led you to humbly accept your own shortcomings?
The Transformed Mouse Seeks a Bridegroom
India (The Panchatantra)
On the shore of the Ganges there was a hermitage filled with holy men dedicated to prayer, self denial, repentance, the study of holy scriptures, fasting, and meditation. They drank only small amounts of very pure water, and mortified their bodies with a diet of bulbs, roots, fruits, and water plants. Their only clothing were loincloths made from tree bark.
The father of the hermitage was named Yajnavalkya. He had just finished bathing in the Ganges and was about to rinse out his mouth when a little mouse fell from a falcon’s beak into his hand. After looking at it, he set it onto a fig leaf, bathed himself once more, rinsed out his mouth, and performed his penitential and other rituals. Then through the power of his holiness he transformed the mouse into a girl.
Taking her home with him to his hermitage, he said to his wife, who was childless, “My dear, take her in place of a daughter. Bring her up with care!”
Thereafter she was reared, loved, and nurtured. When she was twelve years old, and the wife saw that she was ready for marriage, she said to her husband, “Listen, husband, do you not see that it is past time for our daughter’s marriage?”
He said, “What you say is quite right! So if she is willing, I will summon the exalted sun god and present her to him as a wife.
His wife said, “What could be said against that? Do it!”
Through the power of prayer and incantations the sun appeared without delay, saying, “Holy man, why do you summon me?”
The man answered, “Behold! Here stands my little daughter. If she will have you, take her as a wife!”
Having said this, he said to his daughter, “Daughter, does this exalted one please you, this sun god who illuminates the three worlds?”
The daughter said, “Father, he is too hot. I do not want him. Summon a better one!”
Hearing this, the wise man said to the sun, “Exalted one, is there a being more powerful than you?”
The sun answered, “Yes, there is a stronger one than I. The cloud, through whose cover I become invisible.”
Then the wise man summoned the cloud and said to his daughter, “Daughter, shall I give you to this one as a wife?”
She answered, “He is black and cold. Therefore give me to another powerful being!”
Upon this the wise man asked the cloud, “Listen, cloud! Is there anyone more powerful than you?”
The cloud answered, “The wind is more powerful than I! Driven by the wind, I am scattered into a thousand pieces.”
After hearing this, the wise man summoned the wind and said, “Daughter, does the wind please you most of all as a husband?”
She answered, “Father! He is entirely too inconstant. Summon a more powerful one instead!”
The wise man said, “Wind, is there anyone more powerful than you?”
The wind said, “The mountain is more powerful than I, for however strong I am, he still stands firmly against me.”
Then the wise man summoned the mountain and said to the girl, “Daughter, shall I give you to this one in marriage?”
She answered, “Father, he is hard and rigid. Therefore give me to another one.”
The wise man asked the mountain, “Listen, king of the mountains, is there anyone more powerful than you?”
The mountain answered, “The mice are more powerful than I, for they make holes in my body with violence.”
With that the wise man summoned a mouse and showed him to her, saying, “Daughter, shall I give you to him as a wife? Does this mouse king please you?”
Seeing him, she thought, “He is of my own kind.”
Her hair stood on end with pleasure, making her even more beautiful, and she said, “Father, make me into a mouse and give me to him as a wife so I can fulfill the domestic duties prescribed for my kind!”
Through the power of his holiness he transformed her into a little mouse and gave her to the other mouse as a wife.
THEN REMOVING ALL SELF-SERVING DESIRE COMES NEXT – “When we ask our Higher Power to remove these shortcomings, we ask for freedom from anything which limits our recovery. We ask for help because we cannot do it alone.” (It Works, How & Why, p. 49)
“Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.”
– Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895 – 1986) Indian spiritual author/guru
What solutions have been revealed to you lately after having asked for help?
The Origin of Coconut Tree
A Hindu Mythological Story
King Trishanku was a saintly man whose one great desire was to ascend bodily into heaven.He had once done a good turn to sage Vishwamitra and the sage decided to help him fulfill his desire.
Accordingly, he performed a yagna and Trishanku began to rise heavenwards.
When Indra, King of the gods, saw Trishanku at the gates of Heaven, he was furious and catching hold of him, threw him down. Vishwamitra saw Trishanku hurtling downwards and shouted:”Let Trishanku stay where he is now!”
Trishanku’s fall was arrested. As Indra would not let him ascend into heaven and Vishwamitra would not allow him to come down, Trishanku became suspended between heaven and earth.
Folklore has expanded this mythological story to explain the origin of the coconut tree: Vishwamitra knew that Trishanku would eventually fall to earth unless held up by physical means, so he propped him up with a long pole.
The pole eventually turned into a coconut tree and Trishanku’s head became its fruit. The fibre around the coconut is Trishanku’s beard. When you take it off, you see his eyes peering at you.
THE BEAUTY OF ‘CONTRARY ACTION’ -“For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all.” “Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.” (12 & 12 p. 70)
“It belongs to the imperfection of everything human that man can only attain his desire by passing through its opposite.” – Soren Kierkegaard (1813 – 1855) Danish philosopher
How has your own new sense of humility enabled you to achieve some small successes, lately?
How to Take Contrary Action
There are of course a ton of ways we can practice this in our lives. We have so many opportunities to do things we don’t want to do. You can investigate for yourself where contrary action is beneficial and where you have room to grow. Here are a few places we’ve found great opportunity in our own paths to recovery.
Steering Clear of Using
This is rather obvious perhaps, but bears repeating. Especially in early recovery, we may find ourselves experiencing moments of intense cravings for drugs or alcohol. Instead of picking up and using, utilize this opportunity to strengthen your recovery, retrain the mind, and try something new! Call a sponsor or mentor, talk to staff at your treatment center or sober living, or tell a friend. When we take action like this we are building new habits, making it easier to do so in the future. Not only do we stay sober in the moment, we build a foundation for a future clean life.
Being of Service
We don’t always tend toward being of service. We think we don’t have time, we believe that we don’t have anything to offer, or we are too shy to take action. You can start small with being of service. Hold the door open for somebody, smile at a stranger, or put your own chair away at the end of a meeting. When you take contrary action and are of service to someone around you, you have the opportunity to get out of yourself and connect with those around you. Being of service helps build compassion, has been shown to increase psychological well-being, and offers us the chance to be a part of the community we’re in.
The “Little” Opportunities
We have so many opportunities throughout our days to practice contrary action. These “little” things are not really little at all. When we take healthy actions, we are more likely to take further healthy actions. Try making your bed, doing your dishes right away, getting some exercise, and taking care of yourself. When you have a thought of doing something healthy like getting to bed early or going to a meeting, don’t just let the thought go. Take action on that thought. You may notice that you have a lot of thoughts about doing good things, but don’t follow through with all of them. Take contrary action and actually act upon those intentions!
Whatever way you go about it, we encourage you to investigate contrary action in your own life! It takes time and patience, as we can’t change our habits overnight. We do, however, have the power to start today in building new habits. (https://changingtidesaddictiontreatment.com/contrary/)
“Hostile, resentful, self-centered and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off from the outside world. Anything not completely familiar became alien and dangerous. Our world shrank and isolation became our life. We used in order to survive.” (The Basic Text, p. 4)
“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” – Jim Morrison (1943 – 1971) U.S. musician lead singer for “The Doors”
How has “self-centered” fear given you grief, lately?
Now That We Have Tasted Hope –
by Khaled Mattawa, 1964
Now that we have come out of hiding,
Why would we live again in the tombs we’d made out of our souls?
And the sundered bodies that we’ve reassembled
With prayers and consolations,
What would their torn parts be, other than flesh?
Now that we have tasted hope
And dressed each other’s wounds with the legends of our
oneness
Would we not prefer to close our mouths forever shut
On the wine that swilled inside them?
Having dreamed the same dream,
Having found the water behind a thousand mirages,
Why would we hide from the sun again
Or fear the night sky after we’ve reached the ends of
darkness,
Live in death again after all the life our dead have given us?
Listen to me Zow’ya, Beida, Ajdabya, Tobruk, Nalut,
[L]isten to me Derna, Musrata, Benghazi, Zintan,
Listen to me houses, alleys, courtyards, and streets that
throng my veins,
Some day soon, in your freed light, in the shade of your
proud trees,
Your excavated heroes will return to their thrones in your
martyrs’ squares,
Lovers will hold each other’s hands.
I need not look far to imagine the nerves dying,
Rejecting the life that blood sends them.
I need not look deep into my past to seek a thousand hopeless vistas.
But now that I have tasted hope
I have fallen into the embrace of my own rugged innocence.
How long were my ancient days?
I no longer care to count.
I no longer care to measure.
How bitter was the bread of bitterness?
I no longer care to recall.
Now that we have tasted hope, this hard-earned crust,
We would sooner die than seek any other taste to life,
Any other way of being human.
SERVING OUR HP, OTHERS AND OURSELVES –
“I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.” (The Big Book, p. 76) “So today we humbly recommit to the important work that we’ve begun together. I’m grateful that you’ve stood with me thus far, and I’m honored to continue our vital work in the years to come.”– U.S. President Barack Obama (1961 – ) acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize (10/9/2009)
“It doesn’t matter that we will not attain a state of perfection or complete humility in our life- time. The ability to contem– plate this grand vision and meditate upon it are rare and priceless gifts in their
own right. We are being changed.” (It Works, How & Why, p. 53)
YOU CAN CALL IT “A PSYCHIC CHANGE” –
” … once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he de-
spaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself eas-
ily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that re- quired to follow a few simple rules.” (The
Big Book, p.
xxvii)
“Be the change that you want to see in the world.”
– Mohandas Gandhi (1869 – 1948) India Independence Movement Leader from British rule
What changes have you noticed lately in your own spiritual growth, lately?
A Dish of Ice Cream
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
“How much is an ice cream sundae?”
“50 cents,” replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.
“How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient.
“35 cents,” she said brusquely.
The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.
When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were 15 cents – her tip.
WHEN I STUMBLED into AA several years ago, I think most of you would have called me a fairly typical newcomer–confused, intolerant, afraid of the future, and ashamed of the past. Although I was one of the lucky ones who manage to stay sober beginning with the first meeting, my program was slow to blossom into the wonderful way of life it has since become. Why?
It seems the alcoholic mind seldom changes quickly, and what Dr. William D. Silkworth calls “an entire psychic change” usually occurs slowly over a period of time. Dr. Carl G. Jung calls this change a “vital spiritual experience,” which he describes as “in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements.” He goes on to say, “Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begins to dominate them.” Most of these experiences seem to be what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety,” because they develop slowly–sometimes, as in my case, taking several years.
— T. S.
Bella Vista, Arkansas (http://www.aagrapevine.org/node/8019)
“The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” (The Big Book, p. 60)
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.” – Michael J. Fox (1961 – ) U.S. actor
HOW have you been Honest or Open-minded or Willing, to be spiritual/loving, lately?
Why-
by Annie Lennox
How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I’m sorry for the things I’ve done
But when I start to try to tell you
That’s when you have to tell me
Hey, this kind of trouble’s only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don’t you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me
Why
Why
I may be mad
May be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you’re thinking
And I’ve heard it said too many times
That you’d be better off
Besides
Why can’t you see this boat is sinking
Let’s go down to the water’s edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me
Why
Tell me
Why
This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I’ll never tread
These are the dreams I’ll dream instead
This is the joy that’s seldom spread
These are the tears
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent & this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel?
‘Cause I don’t think you know how I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
You don’t know what I feel.
“Other people in our lives help us to develop trust and loving attitudes, we demand less and give more. We are slower to anger and quicker to forgive”. “We begin to feel lovable which is a feeling totally alien to our old egocentric selves.” (The Basic Text, p. 97)
‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809 – 1892) British poet
